I think whether we're young moms or old moms, the fear of our own mortality- of not knowing whether they got all the good stuff from us without too much of the bad are details which can (should?) always haunt us. Watching them grow, up and often away is so poignant, at times it feels unbearable. Thank you so much for this amazing essay. I'm working on one somewhat similar, but from something closer to Patricia Ross' perspective, although I'm not yet in my 80's I did have my daughter when I was only 21. She is now a mom, and waited to have her first when she was 36 and is expecting her second at the age of 38... I was little more than a girl, and she is a fully grown woman. There is no real advice or experience I have that is worth sharing. Only my love and respect. It's pretty tricky!